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Saturday, 17 August 2013

Yes, I am currently single. No, that doesn't mean there is something wrong with me.

Lie: I am no-one if I am not in a relationship. No-one has asked me to marry them so I must be defective. 

Truth: Speaking from someone who is currently watching and participating (as an onlooker of course) in wedding season at the moment, this is a real struggle that it is very easy to get caught up in. Why is it that I have not been hand picked by someone who has bent down on one knee and confessed their undying, unconditional, love to me? What is WRONG WITH ME?

Firstly, having lived with a very inspirational friend last year (Mim) during my time as an intern for King's Church in Durham, I have come to accept this lie for what it is. If you want to read a really valuable article on this then click on the following link and you'll find a piece Mim wrote on singleness this year (it's a lot better than my thoughts on it will ever be) :

Who says I need a man to give value to my life? Isn't that what my last blog post was all about? - The value of Becky (or of you) does not come from any person (or lack there of) who says they love me or walks up the aisle with me. In fact I hope that I do not meet the man I will spend my life with (if that ever happens) until I have fully come to understand what I am worth on my own. That is a long journey for all of us to walk - to come to fully accept ourselves and love ourselves as children of God. After all, God tells us to love others as we love ourselves... If we don't love ourselves then we are not going to love others very well are we?

Secondly, think of what you can do for the Kingdom of God as a single man or woman. Yes, as a couple of course there is a great deal you can do for God's glory and if you have the same goals in your ministry then it might be fair to say that it would be twice as effective; but it is much more difficult to fully give yourself to a mission field which is on your heart (local or international) if there are 2 of you who need to have the same heart and dreams for God. Being a single person means you are free to go where God leads you to go, free to give your time and money to those God tells you to give it to, and free to rely fully on God's love and protection to sustain you.

There is a huge responsibility in any relationship toward the other person. In many ways, if my life takes that path someday, I will be delighted to undertake those, however as long as God's plan is for me to be single, I will serve Him without the responsibility to another - my only responsibility and task is to serve God.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says: "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."

I have come to fully accept that there is nothing wrong with me because of my relationship status. It does not define me, give me purpose, or add value to my life. It is a gift which I guess I do hope that God might one day have in store for me, but it is not a necessity for my life. The only necessity is that I live my life by God's word and follow His calling, and if that involves a man in the near or distant future then great, and if it doesn't then the only disappointed one will be my mother ;).

Girls "You are not a princess because you have a prince, you are a princess because your dad is the King"

Guys neither are you a prince because you have a princess, you are a prince because your dad is the King.

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